A Damascscene

A DAMASCENE MOMENT

Looking back still brings bad memories of a dark time. I was in a monochrome void empty of hope and future.
My diagnosis was
raw my prognosis poor.

Three months they gave me to put to my house in order. They took my wife to one room me to another. We knew what it meant we never spoke. The knowing look said it all.

We were left alone in the blur of diagnosis; the light had gone out of our lives. Silent tears flowed. ‘’Don’t worry love. I said. It’ll l be all right.’’ Shallow words only spoken to sooth, words, I couldn’t back up with fact.

Then in that darkness of despair an angel came and sat down besides us. She said her name was Nurse Anne she had seen my papers and I would be alright. We said nothing, we just stared at her with blank expressions,…was this hope?

She knelt down at our feet like she was in prayer. She held my wife’s hand, her words of comfort helped to ease our fear, we became calm. She said goodbye and left us there, we never saw here again.

We went home to wait, the waiting can be worse than the knowing. Then the call came! They were going to operate. I remember promising myself that if I survived then I would fight this beast until I drew my last breath.

As I left the hospital I paused before stepping out into a welcoming wintry sun, the light nearly blinded me! It was like I’d walked through a door into this new world. I took a painful deep breath. I knew right then my life would be different than it ever was before. I was on the road to Damascus fighting cancer became part of my life.

Forever looking over my shoulder, thirteen years of reviews followed, along with fundraising and advocacy work. Now, all these years later we look back and recall that day of diagnosis and the fog we were in.

We often wonder,… what happened to nurse Anne?